Action - EpilogueMy friend Bryan E. Warner has consented to let me use his art as an example here.
Bryan doesn't have a web site. He does post art on the Penciljack forum here.
The entire page can be viewed here.
|art © 2013 Bryan E. Warner|
My first reaction was that it was a walking figure drawn incorrectly. He's flat footed and leaning back. Both feet occupy the same space. He right fist has a tangent with the leg, thus locking it in place and ruining the look of forward motion. I can't tell if that is his left hand peeking out or something is on the car.
His left hand should be behind him if walking. If this is a piece of the car, it's not clear what it is and creates a tangent, which ruins the sense of depth. It also draws unneeded attention to itself, because it is so awkwardly placed.
All of your figures should present a clear silhouette, which communicates what action is happening.
Bryan informed me the figure is standing and leaning back.
That brings up a few questions from a storytelling standpoint.
What is the story bring told in this panel? What is motivating the figure to lean back? What is he trying to see? The torso on the ground is beside him, not in back of him. What should this figure communicate to the reader? Why is he leaning back? Nothing is in his way, so what is he trying to see? Why stop walking and lean back?
Always keep in mind that your action in motivated by the story. If it's not clear to the reader why a character is doing something in the panel, then it raises questions in the reader's mind and brings the story to a halt. The reader is brought out of the experience.
If anyone wants to submit a page for critique, please let me know.
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